Don't weep for me...

I just want to say I've started this thing 5 different times.....let's see if I keep this one....5 years ago today, I experienced something I pray none of you ever have to, but know some of you already have. I got the call that said my husband had been in an accident and had died instantly. Not a call you ever expect nor want to hear. I guess I'm writing tonight for a couple of reasons...first of all to say, "Don't weep for me." God has brought me so far over the last 5 years. I've been able to see so many blessings in the midst of the pain. So much healing, so much hope even still for my future. In fact, only a couple weeks after John's death, Dr. Mark Chironna was at our church, and was singing a song that was something like "your latter will be greater than your past"....all things are possible...possible,....well at that time I was thinking it was going to be IMpossible to continue on...yeah God gave me great grace and strength, even to speak at John's funeral, and I do hope that there were people who were blessed even at his funeral,...but to believe that the best was still to come, so soon after John had died?! I could hardly believe that....but I felt a very urgent pressing "Do you believe the best is yet to come?" again, "Do you believe it?", and me just saying how can I say that...I just buried my husband?! and the third time, so strongly..."NOW! DO you believe that the best is yet to come?" and I remember falling to my knees crying and making myself say "Yes. I believe the best is yet to come!" Immediately I heard God say to me, "Good. Because if you didn't, you would be calling me a liar. I have told you that 'I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future', if you didn't believe that you'd be calling me a liar". Something happened right then...a freedom from despair.

Yes I grieved. Yes I missed John.

Yes I longed for him on so many occasions, but there was hope for my future. God knew I would need that to

continue on. If I believed that the best was behind me, there was no real reason to press on toward the future, nothing really to look forward to. Although I did not know exactly what that phrase meant,

I knew I had to hold on to it. God has been so faithful through this entire journey. He has provided for me...even when I wasn't sure how we would make it at times, God always provides...He has been there to help my kids adjust and get over losing their daddy....and He has allowed me to "comfort others with the comfort He's given me". Two of my very close friends each lost their husbands...one a year ago and one in January. I could not have walked with them down this road, the way that I have, had I not already been there. I have spoken at women's conferences and been able to relate now to single moms, divorcees, widows, widowers....done jail ministry and ministered to men and sharing things from John's past and what he learned and would want them to know...sharing hope and God's love and how God can take all things and work them for our good, for those of us who love him. You see....if I could have stopped the accident and had my husband with me forever, of course I would have done that. BUT...I can't. Now my responsibility is to find the good that is, and that could come, in the midst of all of this. John never has to fight battles he fought, he's totally free. He's the real winner here, because of Jesus Christ. You see I was grieving over all the things he didn't get to do but I literally heard John laugh, and say, "don't grieve for me! Nothing I ever wanted to do on earth can compare with what I have now!" So don't grieve for us....rejoice that we know a God who gives us life after death....John...well he's living the good life. His life here made a huge difference...it had many long hard roads in it, and it was not fun for either one of us to walk those roads...but he also chose the road of the cross...the road we enjoyed so much together. I still have hope for my future, and a passion to help others find the blessing in the midst of the pain. A wise man once said don't curse your crisis...What the devil meant for evil God will turn for good, and the very thing meant to trip you up, and crush you, will be the very thing that will springboard you into your destiny. I am taking what I learned through life with John, and what he learned and taught me about Christ and us being righteous, and God's grace and mercy, and even what I've learned through death, and sharing it with as many as possible to help make their journey easier. There is no way, that this is the end. I purpose to believe God and allow so much good to come from this, and to believe God when he says...The Best Is Yet To Come!