God Calling.....

Today, I am simply posting something I read this morning in a little book called "God Calling".

First of all, after some conversations that I had this week, let me be clear that I am talking about Jehovah God, whose son is Jesus Christ. Because of Jesus Christ, we can have a relationship with God. In this relationship He speaks to us....this I believe is a message from Him today to so many of us.......

"I am with you to guide you and help you..... Your petty fears are groundless. What of a man walking through a glorious glade who fretted because ahead there lay a river and he might not be able to cross it, when all the time, that river was spanned by a bridge? And what if that man had a Friend who knew the way-had planned it-and assured him that at no part of the journey would any unforeseen contingency arise, and that all was well? So leave your foolish fears, and follow Me, your Guide, and determinedly refuse to consider the problems of tomorrow. My message to you is, trust and wait. ~ God."

FREE from fear

Ok...this is a warning at the beginning of the blog..."Some language may not be suitable for some religious people, or the easily offended. Read at your own risk."

Here we go...Fear has pissed me off. Yes, you heard right. I

have seen it imprison people,paralyze them, rob them of joy, peace, hope....The Bible says in 2Tim 1:7 that "God does not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, and love and a sound mind!"

That means that fear is never from God...EVER! God gives us peace of mind...a sound mind.

Here is what has really pissed me off....again, I'm sorry for the language, but I just don't know of

another way to say it. Fear crept in gradually, quietly, underhandedly...invited some of it's friends to distract from it's real name. Let me tell you some friends of fear....they're actually very closely related, except sometimes you just don't realize how close.

Enemy #1 FRUSTRATION: Doesn't really sound like fear does it? Well it is. Frustration is fear

that all of your hopes, or efforts aren't going to pan out. What are you frustrated with? Who are

you frustrated with? Isn't is usually because you are "afraid" that situation isn't going to change or change quickly enough, so you are frustrated. So carefully decide, are you really frustrated, or actually has a little bit of "fear it's not going to work out, it's not going to change, it'll take too long" crept in?

Enemy #2 WORRY: Here's a definition for you..."worry" is a disquieted uneasiness of mind

(ding ding ding...1st clue), and anxious apprehension (ding ding ding...2nd clue) concerning an impending or anticipated situation; fretting about a foreboding misfortune or failure of yours or one you love. Come on disquieted uneasiness of mind?! Sounds like the opposite of a sound mind to me...must be "fear" that something negative is going to happen or something positive isn't going to happen.

Enemy #3 ANXIETY: Another definition for you..."anxiety" is abnormal, overwhelming

apprehension; anguished uncertainty and self doubt about ones ability to cope with the

situation, to the point of becoming distressed, distraught, panicky or tormented. Hmmm...that doesn't sound like peace of mind or a sound mind to me. Sounds more like "fear" of not being able to take it, fear of not being able to get through something or even fear of losing your mind.

Enemy #4 DOUBT: Did I just say doubt? Related to fear? Yes. Don't let doubt fool you. Fear is the exact opposite of Faith. When you doubt, you question whether the promise applies to you. You "fear" it's too good to be true. You "fear" the promise won't be kept. You "doubt" it.

You cannot walk in faith and in doubt. That is because doubt's father is fear.

I'm sure I could go on....but here's my point. I had NO idea I had let fear creep in. That is what makes me so mad, and why I'm bent on exposing that ugly devil. "God does not give us a spirit of fear". and "His perfect love casts out all fear". I

knew that...so had fear come in a very recognizable way, I would have had the "aha!" moment, and fought it. But...instead 2 Emergency room visits with Blood pressure at critical levels....194/114 was one of the lower BP....being put on Xanax...and then finding out I was having panic/anxiety attacks?! Since when? I've been through hell in my life...been through all sorts of things prior to my husband

dying, then his death, having to be a single mom, financial pressures, now raising two teenagers....but I've always given my cares and worries to God....or so I thought.

So when I realize what's happening...that's when I'm pissed off!! Definitely mad at fear, but also at myself for the inroads I opened up to fear. Another blog at another time I will go in depth about how guilt also opens the door to fear. Not spending enough time casting my cares on God, not spending enough time in His presence, not spending enough in the Word of God, which is the very way we build our faith and fight our battles.

I always "fear" being too long winded and losing you before the end...see how easily fear can slip

in...so let me rephrase that...I hope I don't lose you before the end. I've got something to say here and I hope it helps you!

Well, thank God, I knew and know that there is great power in the Word of God. If you don't know it, it is Powerful, and Living and is a weapon! I began declaring scriptures about Peace, and Healing, and Soundness of Mind! Fear was trying to torment me...Fear of Death was causing me to panic. I didn't even know what was happening.

Here's what I do know...that after dealing with these things for a month or so...I had been in

church all the time, and once I realized what was happening, I started asking and believing for God to free me. In one POWERFUL service, during an amazing time of worship, God healed me.

I'm determined to stay free, by standing on every word that God has regarding Peace, and soundess of mind. I'm also very aware now too look for the little things...stressing over things I shouldn't, worry, doubt, anxiety, frustration. I choose, Joy, Peace, Strength, Hope and Love!

HOPE comes from God. PEACE comes from God. JOY comes from God. Love comes from God. Strength comes from God. Soundness of Mind comes from God. All that I need comes from Him, and being with Him.

By the way...God works all things together for our Good! He healed me and changed me and while I thought it was a blood pressure issue, I have eliminated as much sodium as possible. That is apparently the one key I've been missing for years for being able to reduce calories and lose weight. So...with my new eating habits and lifestyle, I'm now on my way to places of victory I've never had before. Oh how I love God. If you let religious people, and religious rules keep you from a relationship with God, you are missing out on more than you know.

The giver of Hope, wants to give you HOPE that drowns out every fear. HOPE that keeps you looking forward with positive expectation, not dread. HOPE lets you know that it won't always be this way...it WILL get better...in fact The Best Is Yet To Come!!!

Don't let fear keep you in torment....enjoy the peace that Jesus paid for you to have. There is nothing like it! You cannot put a price on Peace!

Some verses for you...Philippians 4:7 that "The Peace of God, that defies all your reasoning and understanding, will stand guard around your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus!" In 1 Peter 5:7, God says to “cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” In Philippians 4:6 He says “Do not be anxious [do not worry] about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (and then trust that He'll take care of it). AND God will keep you in perfect peace when your mind is stayed on Him, because you trust in Him.

Just an old lump of clay?

Well, I've not blogged in quite awhile.

There are many reasons for that.

My hope and goal in this new year is to post something at the very minimum monthly.

For tonight, I happened to be listening to

Joel Osteen and heard him tell a "tea cup" story.

I've heard it before, but it was so good.

It was filled with so many good reminders for me that I want to share with you.

Sometimes we go through things that make us say to God "I can't take it anymore, what are you doing...can't you see this is too much?!" or "I know I could be used...how long before someone sees what's inside of me, other than just a lump of clay?!"

~ Oh but if we could just see what he's making out of us...we would be encouraged and amazed!

A couple walks into an antique shop looking for something exquisite to purchase and bring home. Their eyes immediately fall on the most delicate and lovely teacup they have ever seen.

They told the shop owner, "We must have this tea cup. It is so unique and so beautiful. We've never seen another like this!"

As they were admiring the teacup, they could almost here her story.

“I haven’t always been like this,” the teacup said.

“There was a time when I was a hard, ugly lump of gray clay. No one wanted me….except the Master Potter. One day, He picked me up and began to work me in His strong hands, molding me, pounding me, and rolling me in His grip.

I cried out, ‘Stop that! It hurts! It is too painful! Leave me alone!’

The Master Potter smiled gently and simply said, ‘Not yet.’

Then He put me on a wheel where I began to spin and spin and spin. I felt sick. I felt dizzy. I wanted to slow down. I wanted to get off! All the while as He spun me, He continued to shape me and mold me. I screamed, ‘Let me get off! Stop! Stop!”

But, the Master Potter just smiled and said, ‘Not yet.’

Finally, He took me off of the wheel. As I was admiring my new shape, the Master Potter scooped me up and put me in a large furnace. This oven was hotter than I could have ever imagined. I began screaming!

Help me! I am going to die! I can’t take it! Don’t you love me? I can’t survive this! Get me out!’

But, the Potter just watched through the glass. I saw Him kindly say, ‘Not yet.’

Just when I thought I would be destroyed from the heat, the Master Potter took me out of the furnace. I was relieved until He began to paint me. The paint was horrible. I began to choke on the terrible smelling fumes.

I cried out to the Master, ‘Please, please, please stop!’

He smiled gently and said, ‘Not yet.”

“Then suddenly he put me back in to the oven. Only it was not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I just knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. I was convinced I would never make it. I was ready to give up. Just then the door opened and he took me out and again placed me on the shelf, where I cooled and waited ——- and waited, wondering "what will happen to me next?" I happened to see my reflection and as I did, I said, ‘That’s not me; that couldn’t be me. It’s beautiful. I’m beautiful!’

Quietly he spoke: ‘I want you to remember, then,’ he said, ‘I know it hurt to be shaped and molded, but had I just left you alone, you’d have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around in circles on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled. I know it hurt and it was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if you had not been there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn’t done that, you never would have been strengthened. You would not have had any color in your life. If I hadn’t put you back in that second oven, you wouldn’t have survived for long because the strength would not have held. Now you are a finished product. Now you are what I had in mind when I first began with you.”
Author Unknown

I keep hearing in songs, and different places the encouragement that if God started the work in you, then it's a sure sign He has plans to complete it. He hasn't given up on you so don't give up on yourself. He sees something wonderful in you and He will help bring it out. Philippians 1:6 says this..."I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."

Another blog will be coming soon based upon this one verse...it's just really been on my heart lately.

I can't wait to share more with you later!

Thanks for reading!!

Automatic Doors Ahead - Just Keep Moving!

Automatic Doors - Just Keep Moving!

Ok...So I recently heard a minister talking about Automatic Doors, so I totally cannot take any credit for this. It really got me thinking. You know you've always heard things like "when one door closes another door opens". "If God closes a door He opens a window". Well I guess what I've found out in my own life, is that there are some doors that just won't open until you knock, knock, knock and keep on knocking. Some doors that are locked and you must have the key. Others though, are automatic..and sometimes I think these are the ones we miss the most.

I think it's the automatic doors that are triggered by us being in a certain position. All we really need to do is just place ourselves in the right position and that door just opens. Ever just knew you weren't in position? I know the feeling well. In many areas, I still feel this way. Here's the deal....sometimes we just get tired. There's a reason for that. 1 Corinthians 16:9 says "For a wide door of opportunity for effectual [service] has opened to me [there, a great and promising one], and [there are] many adversaries." There will be many things that try to keep us from the very things God has for us. Sometimes, after having to press through so much, and being disappointed, our step slows, and sometimes it comes to a crawl, and then before long, we just want to sit down for awhile...many times just sitting MUCH longer than we expected...now not even knowing if we have the strength to get back up at all let alone keep moving. I want to encourage you (as well as myself) to remember that sometimes you are literally inches from being in the exact position that triggers that automatic door....That door to the next atmosphere, dimension, level....whatever you want to call it..The one where you suddenly see things from a totally different perspective. The one where even the people around you act differently. There's a new level of peace, hope, joy, strength, new vision for what's ahead. The automatic doors close behind you and there is simply no going back to the way things were....it's only forward momentum from here! "Never going back to the way it was!" Really, the way it was wasn't so great..you know..Think about the "Best is Yet To Come!" God has the door ready to open...all you need to do is don't stop, keep moving, and get in position and everything can change in a moment for your good!

I can almost feel some people saying, I just can't do this anymore. I feel crippled by life and the situations I've had to go through. Well good news for you...you are not alone. You are not the only one who has gone through things in life that make you feel like you cannot recover, that you will never be able to walk again. This is where you simply admit where you are, recognize you might need some help, ask for it, and then even you can enter through this automatic door. Sometimes it's crying out to God for help, sometimes it's being willing to share with a pastor, friend or counselor, that you are tired of where you are at and you are ready to move on to the next level in life. Everyone needs a little help sometime.

The automatic door is there for you too! Believe it!

God has a timing for things in our life. Believe it or not, we really do not know it all. Many times it seems like He is

definitely too slow in helping us, like it is surely time for these good things to come to us! Ever think you were ready for something only to find out you really weren't. You ended up messing it up, because you weren't ready for it. Trust God for His timing. If you rush ahead, and try to force doors open, you never know what might happen. Think of the automatic doors on the Metro. As the train is stopping, they are closed for a reason and they open at a particular time for a reason - it's for your safety or possibly the safety of others waiting as well. Don't force doors to open...almost always, you will regret that decision. I love this prayer and I do pray it often..."God don't take me where my character in you can't keep me". There's nothing like "making it big", only to fall hard and in front of many. I want to be ready for whatever it is He has for me. "Please wait for doors to fully open before passing through".

And lastly....you know those revolving doors? Know when to step off and not go in circles. How frustrating it is in life to just go in circles...watch for the open door God provides, and walk out into it. While on the subject of those revolving doors...ever had someone try to squeeze their way into that some door opening with you? How uncomfortable and rude is that?!

Don't try and tail-gate your way in on someone else's open door. You really don't want someone else's dream, or someone else's destiny. God has had one created especially for you since you

were created. It's better for you than any one else's could be...so don't crowd in on them, and try to take whats theirs. Don't try and take someone else's promotion, someone else's position...what's up with that?! You must not have any faith in yourself or in God, that you have your very own position that won't be taken from you, if you didn't take it from someone else! No Tailgaiting!!

There is a door. It is the access to your next level of success, joy, peace, strength...the next level of perspective. In your life there will be many access points that depend on the choices you make. Some require keys, some require diligent knocking, and others simply require you not giving up, and walking in the right direction for that right position to trigger your automatic door. Heart position is so key. Check yourself. What is the position of your heart? Ready for the next level? Ready for the door to open? It's now up to you to make the decision....God already has everything in place...just position yourself and keep moving!!!

Ride The Waves That Tried To Crush You

Ride the Waves that Tried to Crush You

^{2 Corinithians 4:8-9} We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.

Ever been here? Trouble on every side, perplexed, knocked down....

You are not alone. Seriously....I think so many of us have felt this way at least (and I mean at least) once or twice.

I watched this movie one day, a movie that I never would have normally watched. It was about surfers, and truthfully, I would avoid a movie where everyone is in swimsuits...however, something really intrigued me about this one and I stopped to watch.

Here's the basic gist of the movie. This girl loved to surf. She was very good at it....however, one time while surfing one of those awesome big waves, the wave slammed her down underwater, where she hit her head, board got caught on a rock and she nearly lost her life. Fast forward a year or so, and she is surfing again, but not competitively, she's just hitting the small waves, having fun, but never putting herself in that same position again.

She finally is encouraged to brave THE waves again in competition. Guess what...almost the same thing happens again. Fear causes her to misjudge the wave, and it crashed down over her, and her board is stuck again on a rock underwater and her ankle is fastened by a strap to the board. It's getting harder to breathe and she's trapped....she finally gets free from the board...she tries to swim to the surface, gasps for air....when suddenly another massive crushing wave crashes over her and sends her back under again, deep into the water. She barely had enough air to begin with, now she fights back to the surface, and gets one quick breath, before again...one more unrelenting wave...uncaring crashing wave sends her forcefully back underwater, deep, deep into the black water. By this time, you wonder does she even have the strength to fight her way back up again, and if she does will it even matter. You're on the edge of you seat, (realizing that's ridiculous because this is only a movie, ;o) hoping praying that she fights her way to the top once more . She does and this time there's enough of a break that someone is there with a jet ski to get her out of there.

Fast forward a little bit, and she is recovering in the medical tent...when she realizes...she will always be bound by fear if she doesn't get out there and ride that wave...... everyone gasps. She's out there now...she watches one, two, three waves come and go.....she stays afloat on all of them, just letting them pass. Then there's one that's coming that's gonna be huge...powerful...She starts swimming towards the shore getting ready for this wave....she stands...and...she rides that wave perfectly...it pipes around her providing a type of silence that is beautiful, the crowd of course can't see her, but she comes out of the wave on her feet with the most beautiful experience of her life. She rode the wave and won!

Long story, but if you're still with me...thank you. God showed me so much in this movie...How many times have the waves of life battered us, crashed over us...how many times have we felt like we were fighting for our lives, just fighting to catch our breath, when just as soon as we can breathe again, something else hits us and sends us crashing down again...

Too tired to fight...too tired to try again. But something...something says..Oh you might be knocked down, but not knocked out...you might pressed down, but not destroyed, ... discouraged, but never with out hope.

I'm telling you there's something that God does that even when things begin to appear "hopeless", He allows even just that glimmer of hope to guide us to the surface....

I can't even swim in the natural, but I know this...I'm tired of just coming up for air...tired of feeling like all the energy is used up in existing.

Things are changing. I'll say that again...This time things are changing....

This much I know...it's time to ride the waves...to the other side.

2 Corinthians 1:7-9 (New Living Translation)

⁷ We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us. ⁸ We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through...We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. ⁹ In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.

Thanks for reading. Love to know if you did.

Just had to add this link to this post...not normally my type of music...but the lyrics....come on!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWRJAHaOrYg&feature=av2e

FireFlight - "Unbreakable"

Where are the people that accused me?
The ones who beat me down and bruised me
They hide just out of sight, can't face me in the light
They'll return but I'll be stronger

God I want to dream again, take me where I've never been
I wanna go there, this time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me, nothing can stop me

Sometimes it's hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can?t see to reach my destiny?
I want to take control but I know better

God I want to dream again, take me where I've never been
I wanna go there, this time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me, nothing can stop me

Forget the fear it's just a crutch
That tries to hold you back
And turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just trust

God I want to dream again, take me where I've never been
I wanna go there, this time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it?s unmistakable
No one can touch me, nothing can stop me

God I want to dream again, take me where I've never been
I wanna go there, this time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me, nothing can stop me


© ALLEN VAUGHN AND RAY; MEADOWGREEN MUSIC COMPANY;

Divine Appointments....Don't Miss Them.

So, I totally believe in Divine Appointments. Basically this where the timing and location and people involved are just "too coincidental". You know what I mean...you're running late, and

you swing by a store you normally don't go to, and lo and behold, you see "Sally". You haven't seen her in years, and you start talking, and she has a position open at her company that is

exactly what you've been looking for....coincidence? No. Divine Appointment.

You're early for an appointment, and you're never early. When you arrive, you see "Mike" leaving as you are coming in. "Mike's" son has been in the hospital, and you know he's going through a hard time, and Mike just opens up and starts talking real with you, and even lets the tears flow. You tell him, that you'll come by the hospital with his son's favorite ice cream, and give Mike a hug...You can tell that you've made Mike's day....and yours. Coincidence? I think not. Divine Appointment.

I can't tell you how many times in my life, there has been something that has happened and I have known beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it was a divine appointment.

Today was one of those days...running late for church, wondering why I can live so close and still be late...beating myself up for not getting up earlier and getting there on time...then when we get there, there are no seats left, and since the teens will leave after praise and worship is over for their service, an usher goes ahead and moves 4 teens to a new location and as I walk into the row....I am placed right beside a boy I have been praying for and who I had been communicating with this week. He hasn't been to church in months. Coincidence? Again, I think not. Divine Appointment. I was able to remind him how much God loved him, and that God has an amazing plan for him...it was beyond awesome what God did in that meeting. He took a huge step coming today, and an even bigger step to allow God to heal some deep hurts. Then on this very day, Stevie Wonder shows up and reminds us in song, that if God's eye is on the sparrow, then we know He watches us. Divine appointment.

I remember one day I got very sick at a concert I was working, and had to leave. As I left, I suddenly began to feel better. Strange. The next strange thought was...well, I suddenly have an extra hour to myself...I need bras. Yes you read right. The strangest thought, but it was true and so I decided to go shop for bras while I had this unexpected time. At this store, me and another lady struck up a conversation and found out she was a minister, and we shared how God had brought us through some tough times...conversation didn't last longer than 5 minutes. What I didn't know is one of the sales clerks was listening to every word. She approached me later and said..."I'm so glad you came in today. I really needed to hear what you guys were saying. I feel like I just need to get closer to God and I really needed to see some strong women" She then starts crying right there in the store. I told her that God must sure love her a whole lot, to take someone from a concert, plant the strangest thought in their mind to go buy a bra, and have them there at the exact time as someone else, for her to hear that conversation. I asked her if I could pray with her for a moment, right there in the middle of all the bras...and she said yes...As I prayed a quick prayer, she really started to cry. I gave her a hug and my e-mail address, and reminded her of how much God loved her to rearrange schedules just for her....Coincidence? I think you know by now...no. Divine Appointment.

So here's my point. Whether you're running early or late, whether you are going to the same places you go everyday, or for some reason take a detour....keep your eyes open for those divine appointments. You never know whether God has someone who can bless you or someone he wants you to be a blessing to...all you need to do is be willing and keep your eyes open.

God has a divine appointment for you...can you fit it in?

Smile, with tears in my eyes.

Today I had the incredible pleasure of watching a young couple start their life together as man and wife. The groom had tears in his eyes as he watched his beautiful bride coming toward him. The father, brought tears to my eyes as well, giving away his oldest daughter, to a man that has pledged to love her, and be faithful to her, and be a Godly husband and leader all the days of their lives. It was an absolutely moving, beautiful wedding!

Not only was this day so beautiful because of the love and commitment of this young couple, it was beautiful because there were families there to help them celebrate that had overcome some of the greatest obstacles in life.

I watched as twin boys probably around the age of 3 walked down the isle of the church, each carrying a wedding ring...one for the groom and one for the bride. I watched as a beautiful little flower girl, threw rose petals as she walked, smiling the biggest, most genuine smile in the world, and did her job proudly and perfectly.

Here's the beauty of this day....This young couple is dedicating their lives to ministry, just as her parents, and grandparents have done.(I'm sorry I don't know more about the Groom's family). The grandparents started a ministry working with men who had life controlling issues like drug and alcohol addiction. They started this ministry in Capital Heights, MD many years ago...raised their own children while giving others the opportunity to have their lives restored. Then their son stepped in and decided that God had called him to that same work. He too raised his family as he did the work that God had called him to do.

Through what God has done in this ministry, I have seen men whose families have all but given up on them, and who many times have all but given up on themselves, find a place to allow God to truly heal them, re-create them, free them...It's something that just can't be described.

Today, those beautiful twin boys who were ringbearers, were also trophies of a couple who had endured much and survived. A man who allowed God to take the very addiction that robbed him of so much in life, to bless him with his wife, and the blessing of those two boys. It was a picture of a restored life and a restored family, and to see these two boys, all I could do was smile with tears in my eyes at how far God had brought this family.

That beautiful little girl, smiling the whole way as the flower girl, will be a little girl who will never have a reason not to smile, because of the changes that God made in her daddy well before she was born. She too was a trophy of what God had done in her daddy's life. See I knew him when many wondered, including himself, if there even was hope for him. Now, he too has allowed God to take away the very thing that tried to kill him, his dreams his future. I saw him with his beautiful wife, and kids, and again all I could do was smile with tears in my eyes. I felt as if I had a movie camera and was capturing wonderful sites.

I saw this same dad, stoop down and allow his young son, not yet even two years old, try and drink from daddy's big cup. When the son had gotten his little drink, daddy stuck his hand out to let his son give him a "high-five". The little boy will never have to know the life his daddy has been freed from. Again, all I could do was smile, with tears in my eyes.

I watched the father of the twins, discipline one of the boys, take him and seat him on a bench with a stern reprimand, and a time out. I saw this man loving his boys enough to discipline them, and train them, and develop them, and they too will never have to know the life their daddy has been freed from. I watched as he and his wife shared a dance, with tears in their own eyes, and I marveled at how far God had brought them.

So you see, although two days from now, it will be 4 years since my own husband's death, and this wedding was already an emotional time for me....it made me smile with tears in my eyes, as I remembered a man who had also experienced freedom from a life of addiction, a true personal relationship with God. I smiled as I remembered the love we shared and the way he loved his children, and I just couldn't help but smile with tears in my eyes.

Now this young couple begins their lives, and for now they will continue on with the ministry to hurting men who need another chance. What lives will God allow them to touch? Will they too raise their children as they minister God's healing and freedom?

All I know is that today was beautiful...painfully sad at moments as I missed my own husband, but so beautiful. And as I look back on today....all I can do is smile, ...with tears in my eyes.